Friday, September 25, 2009

mama drama

I've always hesitated to blog about my mother. She's different now than the woman who raised me - in fact I can hardly find any similarities in the two at all. So I don't like to blog about her because to be quite honest I don't want the whole world thinking that badly of my mother, and thinking that i'm the miracle who got through it all ok (as my friends like to put it) because the fact is - she raised me to be the way I am. She wasn't ANYTHING like the person she is now, and to be quite honest it terrifies me.
She's going through what I would call a "mid-life crisis" if I was being kind, but if I were to tell the truth I'd say it was more like she's going through a complete mental breakdown/satanic possession. It started a few years ago, when her and my stepdad divorced.
She started sleeping around, ignoring my younger siblings who were still at home - except for Bex, who at 17 she started taking to the bars with her. We stopped talking as much, because to be honest I couldn't really take her like that. Although, it's nothing like that anymore. It's worse.
A few years ago, I came home and was "greeted" on the porch by a man who I had never met. I walked up to the porch, bags behind me.
"who are you?" he asked.
"I'm tee's daughter," I said.
"no you're not"
"uhhh yes I am."
"no, tee has two kids, bex and aj"
"umm actually she has 5. and i'm the oldest"
"no, she has two. she told me so herself."
"well she was lying because SHE IS MY MOTHER."
"are you sure?"
"I think I know who my mother is."
Now, mind you, my mom only gave birth to three of us - me, bex and AJ. Mandy and Mikey are my stepdad's children, who she raised as her own, who she raised us to call our brother and sister. (I got my butt beat for calling Mandy my stepsister once).
So, my mom has moved to florida, bex has gotten herself pregnant, and NO ONE in the family is talking to her for a multitude of reasons, too numerous to name here. But, she has continued to disown Mikey and Mandy, telling the she hates them and she never loved them, etc. Mikey, especially has taken it hard because she is the only mother who he has ever known. It KILLS me that she is doing this.
Anyway, a few nights ago, Mikey, in a fit of rage, punched something with glass in it, sliced and artery in his arm and tore quite a bit of ligament/muscle. His dad, after he calls 911, called my aunt and sister (I'm about 3 hours away from home in PA). The three of them spend all day/night at the hospital with him, through a surgery, etc. Dr. isn't sure if he is going to regain full use of his hand, only time will tell. But that's not the point.
The point is that my MOTHER called Bex and gave her HELL for sitting at the hospital with him. Had her in HYSTERICS. Told her she was going to get the whole family to turn against her, that she despised her.
WTF. I can't even comment on her right now. I haven't spoken to her since March, but I honestly want to call her and give her a piece of that hell right now, but it's just not worth it.

I keep telling myself she will come around eventually. And hopefully, when that time comes, it won't be too late to undo the damage she has done.

Unfortunately, I think it's already too late for that.


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