Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Let it all go.

I realized today that I have been blogging for almost 10 years. I didn't realize it had been that long. According to my aunt, I started my first blog on teen open diary the day after I turned 14...hard to believe it's been that long! That website is now gone, as is my modblog. My live journal, however, lives on, as do my 3 previous blogger blogs. I spent a good chunk of today rereading through my old entries - its amazing how young I sounded.

While driving back from my interview today, my mother called me 9 times.
I caved. I talked to her.
I miss her. I'm tired of being mad. Apparently my sister made up most of the things she told me my mother said.
I don't know. I'm just tired of being angry, it takes too much energy. Anger is easy. Forgiveness is harder.
I'm working on it. I'm trying. I feel a lot more at ease then I have in a while.
Are things perfect? no. Can I forget everything that has happened in the past few years? no.
But can I forgive?
yes.
tonight, at least, I can forgive.

1 comments:

Tina Fabiano™ said...

I always cringe a little bit when I read my old livejournal entries. They make me feel so little, but at the same time thankful I'm through with that part of my life haha.

And what you said about anger being easy and forgiveness being hard could not be more true. Anger is such an easy emotion to fall into, especially since it is fed so easily. Good luck with your mum.

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