So, i suppose it's time I update?

I wish I could tell you that I've been out making my mark on the world, living every moment and building confidence in my worth as a human being, but that would be a lie. And not even a very believable one.

So here's what I have been doing:

1) Working. I finally found a full time job. Yay for me. It pays roughly was I was making when I was 16 and working in a supermarket. Boo for me. So, I've kept my part time job at Borders. Resulting in roughly 60 hours per week of work, not counting my 45 minute commute to said job. Said job that I do not love, although it is what I love doing. However it is a necessary evil brought on by....

2) Not Going to Graduate School. Since the Governor of my state decided it was beneficial to our already failing educational system to make massive school budget cuts, it did not make sense to take out another $50-70,000 in student loans on a degree that would not get me a job because teachers are getting laid off left and right.

3) Having actual friends. Yes, I have managed to find people in this state that I not only don't despise, but who I actually love very much (despite the 3 year age difference..). They do take up a good portion of my time that would have otherwise been spent trolling the internet and/or blogging (have you noticed it's only fun to blog when you have something to actually say to people?)

4) Being perpetually single. Yes, I've finally accepted the fact that I will in fact soon be a miserable old spinster with 5 cats and no hope of ever finding love. Of course, hanging out with beautiful people (see above) is not doing anything to remedy the situation. However, I suppose the friendship is worth a life of being alone.

5) Carlyn Rose. My beautiful, amazing, happy, laughing, full of life niece who never ceases to bring a smile to my face. At almost 6 months old, she's showing more of her spunky personality every day. She knows she has everyone (from Poppop to Aunt Girl and right on down the line) and uses it to her full advantage. I can't wait to watch her continue to grow and become her own little person. She is absolutely perfect and I would rather never blog again than go with out seeing that face. I mean, how could you *not* love this face?

Drastically Change my hair

Before: (I actually had to scroll back to August to find a picture with my hair down)

After (added full bangs, layers, and took 4.5 inches off..)

Sunday Smiles (15 Minutes late)

1) Leopard print rain boots
2) Rediscovering your favorite childhood books
3) Glee's season finale
4) haircuts
5) toasty rooms.

Harder than a rubix cube

I've been sitting here in front of this page for almost an hour, trying to come up with something to say. I have a million little thoughts going on in my mind right now, and I can't seem to find the right one to write about. I don't know what to say about anything.
I want to just freeze the world for a few hours, to give my mind time to catch up.
I'm 5000 words into my novel for NaNoWriMo. 45000 to go. Can I really do this? Can I really write a novel?
I'm having some difficulties with this one - I'm a very character driven writer. I know my characters, and tell their stories. This one came to me in reverse - I know the story I want to tell, but I'm still getting to know my characters. I know my background characters pretty well - it's my main characters who are still hiding from me.
Maybe I'm trying too hard.
Maybe, for the first time, since I know where the story is going I'm afraid. That I'll actually accomplish something. I'm finding myself in my usual paradox - I'm to afraid of failing to succeed. I know I can never fail if I don't try, but parts of me are so afraid of that failure that sometimes it doesn't seem worth it to try.

13) Reconnect with an old Friend

check.
Although, it wasn't my doing at all..it's one of those things that just kind of happened.

Ari was my childhood best friend. We met when I was 6 and she was 7. We lived down the street from each other - her family moved in about a week before mine did.
I still remember the day we met. It was June, right before school ended. But it was cloudy and I had on pants with a tanktop. I was riding my bike, as far away from my house as I was allowed to go. I had just learned how to ride a two wheeler and was so proud of myself. Ari was riding her bike in the street in front of her house, which I thought was the coolest thing ever. I stopped and watched her as she rode with no hands. This girl, in my 6 year old mind, was so cool. She noticed me watching her and rode over to me, pulled up right along side of me so that our front wheels were touching.
"I'm Ari." she said. "I live in that house. I'm in second grade. Who are you?"
"I'm Girl," I said. "I live down there. I'm in first grade. I'm not allowed to ride my bike in the street."
And so began our friendship. Over the 2.5 years that we shared a neighborhood, we had many infamous schemes and ideas. Among the most famous was our idea to have a neighborhood cheerleading squad and a neighborhood band. We wouldn't play the instruments, just direct the band. Neither one of us could play any instruments.
And then, my mom and stepdad got a divorce and my mother whisked me, my sister and brother away in the middle of the night.
A few days later, she came back to get our belongings from the house. Ari came running down the street when she saw my mother's car. She handed her a piece of paper with her address and phone number on it.
We wrote 1 letter a week, each, for 4 years, until about midway through middle school. We sent emails after that, but at some point in high school, we just lost touch.
This morning, when I logged onto my facebook, there was a friend request from Ari.

I still have every single letter she wrote to me.

Book 2 and 3. Movie numero 2

Read The Book Thief by Mark Zusak. AMAZING. Absolutely amazing. The Holocaust/WWII is one of my favorite historical periods to research. There's just so much there, and you always learn something new about it, even if you've been studying it for years. (Not that I wish for that devasation to occur, but there is nothing can be done to change it now, so might as well research the hell out of it.)
Also read Fishbowl by Sarah Mlynowski. Made me laugh hysterically.

Movie: watched Zack and Miri Make a Porno. weird, by hysterical.

Book 1/60

1) Read 60 new books (1/60)

Milkrun by Sarah Mylnowski

The story of every single 20-something girl's life. It's like having a conversation with one of your best friends and yourself at the same time.

.001 down, 100.998 to go!

51) Watch 25 new movies (1/25)

Watched The Hangover with K and Re yesterday. I think that may be the hardest I've ever laughed at a movie. Especially the end credits.

I talked to my sister Bex yesterday. October 19th I will find out whether I am having a niece or nephew!!!
And she also told me that when my brother was still groggy and coming out of anesthesia the other day after his emergency surgery, that he was crying for Mommy. I really wish I had the capability to hate her for that.
I also informed Mikey that if he EVER scares me like that again, I will kill him.