Sunday, August 1, 2010

Sunday Smiles

1) New episodes of Army Wives.
2) Audrey Hepburn
3) Good hair days
4) a beautiful, happy, niece who is growing and changing every day.
5) good music

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Where's the Love?

My family takes an annual vacation to the shore every year. We have for as long as I can remember. It's ALWAYS the first week in August. And we've always been pretty lucky as far as weather goes - I can remember it raining literally 1 day on all of our vacations, ever.

I was 9 or 10 that year, and my dad and uncles decided a trip to the nearby mall - which the woman at the front desk of the hotel said had an indoor playground. So off we went. What better way to keep 6 children, ages 10 to 6 entertained on a rainy vacation day?

If only my father had known what he would start that day.

We walk into the mall and see signs about a free concert for a new, relatively unknown pop band. I begged my dad to take me, and he obliged. Quality father daughter time or something like that.

We listen to the band - they are brothers, according to the signs. The youngest is my age, maybe a year older.

I'm instantly smitten. The band? Hanson. You know, "Mmmbop," long haired blonde brothers?

I've been a die-hard fan ever since. When Middle of Nowhere hit stores later that year and my fellow fifth grade classmates were drooling over Taylor, I already knew every word to the whole album, and most importantly that Zac was my future husband.

Ah, 10 year olds. Zac Hanson. Wasn't really dreaming big, was I?

Anyway, the next summer, they were touring and a friend's mom was buying tickets for her birthday for her and 3 friends. I was psyched. I had to see them.

My mother wouldn't let me go. My friends, the sweethearts* that they were, called me from a pay phone at the concert to let me know what I was missing. That Zac was cute and they were playing songs off their new album and they had both bought concert shirts and OMG how amazing it was and didn't it suck that I wasn't there? But I shouldn't be too jealous, because they were only in the 10th row. Not the first.

Fast forward a few months, when one of my friends comes over. She laughs at the Hanson covered walls and informs me that they are so elementary school and the N*Sync is what is cool now, and that I should take them down and she won't tell anyone I was so uncool.**
I take them down, silently apoligizing to the boys. She helps me find an N*Sync poster in a magazine to hang up, until I get more.

Once she's gone, all my Hanson posters come back up.

Fast forward 9, almost 10 years. It's the day of my college graduation and Hanson is playing just an hour away.
My mother informs me that under no circumstances is that an excuse to miss my college graduation and if i decide it is, she will disown me. And then dismember me.***

So fast forward to this past Tuesday. Hanson is playing nearby.
And this time, I make it.

It's a dream come true. Almost a week later, and my ears are still ringing. I can't pull the smile off my face.

They play their big hits. The crowd screams along. They play their newer, lesser known (and more grown up) songs. And the crowd continues to scream. We belt out every word, dance along to the music and reconnect with the inner teeny bopper that every girl posesses.

And I realized one universal truth about my undying, 15 year love of Hanson:

deep down, I still believe there's hope for me and Zac.

*Although, in their defense, has you ever met a kind 12 year old?
**Have I ever mentioned how much I truly despised and detested middle school?
*** She was serious. My mother doesn't joke about graduations. Especially when it comes to me.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

So, i suppose it's time I update?

I wish I could tell you that I've been out making my mark on the world, living every moment and building confidence in my worth as a human being, but that would be a lie. And not even a very believable one.

So here's what I have been doing:

1) Working. I finally found a full time job. Yay for me. It pays roughly was I was making when I was 16 and working in a supermarket. Boo for me. So, I've kept my part time job at Borders. Resulting in roughly 60 hours per week of work, not counting my 45 minute commute to said job. Said job that I do not love, although it is what I love doing. However it is a necessary evil brought on by....

2) Not Going to Graduate School. Since the Governor of my state decided it was beneficial to our already failing educational system to make massive school budget cuts, it did not make sense to take out another $50-70,000 in student loans on a degree that would not get me a job because teachers are getting laid off left and right.

3) Having actual friends. Yes, I have managed to find people in this state that I not only don't despise, but who I actually love very much (despite the 3 year age difference..). They do take up a good portion of my time that would have otherwise been spent trolling the internet and/or blogging (have you noticed it's only fun to blog when you have something to actually say to people?)

4) Being perpetually single. Yes, I've finally accepted the fact that I will in fact soon be a miserable old spinster with 5 cats and no hope of ever finding love. Of course, hanging out with beautiful people (see above) is not doing anything to remedy the situation. However, I suppose the friendship is worth a life of being alone.

5) Carlyn Rose. My beautiful, amazing, happy, laughing, full of life niece who never ceases to bring a smile to my face. At almost 6 months old, she's showing more of her spunky personality every day. She knows she has everyone (from Poppop to Aunt Girl and right on down the line) and uses it to her full advantage. I can't wait to watch her continue to grow and become her own little person. She is absolutely perfect and I would rather never blog again than go with out seeing that face. I mean, how could you *not* love this face?

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Baby Carlyn

So I know I've gone MIA from my blog for a few weeks, (aka over a month) but I swear with good reason. My beautiful niece Carlyn Rose arrived on February 19, 2010. And it was truly love at first sight. As I type this now, she is asleep next to me on the couch, my sister out right now.

Earlier tonight, she was fighting sleep: the day (her first holiday) was filled with excitement and she pulled the stubborn 6 week old thing and refused to sleep through any of it. So, around 7, not having slept since she woke up this morning, i walked into another room of the house with her, turned off the lights and rocked and walked. And sang. I sang all the lullabies I knew, and then started to sing Gracie, my favorite Ben Folds song. She looked at me, and her little eyes started to flutter. She got a smile on her face and was full of contentment. And in the moment, her eyes on me, half asleep, I was overcome with how deeply I love her. I can't imagine loving anyone more.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Sunday Smiles

1) Post Secret
2) Sense and Sensibility (love me some Kate Winslet)
3) something to look forward to
4) New music
5) Baby watch 2010

Monday, January 25, 2010

Another writing prompt

You are downsizing and have to get rid of almost everything - what do you keep?

My scrapbooks/pictures
They are probably the most important things to me - they remind me of the people I love, places I have been and memories I can never get back. I can lose everything else and as long as I still have them, i won't worry too much

My move collection
I own more movies than I could possibly count, and yes, I do watch them all.

My books
Books have always provided me with a safe haven, no matter how treacherous the "real world" felt. They gave me an escape, a way to cope with things in my life that I didn't want to deal with and are an absolute necessity in my life. I can't imagine a home with out books

My computer
enough said

My Suzie and Gappie
Suzie and Gappie are two of the only momentos I have left of my childhood, after the move of 07 which no one told me about.

I've had Suzie since I was a baby, slept with her every night and carried her every where with me - including my college dorm room. (first regaling her to the top drawer of my desk, and then realizing that my roommate actually had a Susie as well, brought her out of hiding)

Gappie was one for me by Gia when I was 8. He always reminds me of her.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Sunday Smiles

1) Laughter
2) Progress
3) Brandi Carlile.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Magic was in the air at The Jetty

the sun setting and being a fresh high school graduate, I felt like the world was mine for the taking. We were ready for what came ahead, and sure of who we were. It was the perfect shining moment in a vacation that other wise contained broken hearts, tears, and the beginning of a friendship unraveling.

But at that moment of sunset, sitting on the edge of the jetty, with my friends beside me, dolphins swimming by and the smell of summer in the air, I knew who I was. I knew where I was going. I knew that I would handle anything that came at me.

I thought I was invincible.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Random Musings

It never feels good to feel like someone's last resort.

Nor does it feel good to feel like someone's booty call...minus the booty.

Nor does it feel good to have your friends ignoring you for a reason that you don't know and they won't tell.

It especially doesn't feel good to have to hear this from someone other than your friends.

Nor does it feel good to be sick.

And you know what really doesn't feel good?

Taking a chance. and having it blow up in your face. again and again and again and again and again. And again. And just when you decide to give it one more chance, it once again blows up in your face. And then, when you still have that teeny, tiny, shred of hope that *THIS* will be the time it goes right, that this is why you still take risks despite the fact that they ALWAYS end badly, it ONCE AGAIN BLOWS UP IN YOUR FACE.

i guess what im saying is i don't feel good. about anything.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Sunday Smiles

1) baby showers
2) cute AND comfortable shoes
3) the Golden Globes
4) chinese food
5) Harry Potter

Friday, January 15, 2010

Drastically Change my hair

Before: (I actually had to scroll back to August to find a picture with my hair down)

After (added full bangs, layers, and took 4.5 inches off..)

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

ch ch ch changes

2010 will be my year.

i will stop smultzing my time, complaining about things i have the power to change and just generally being morose about the fact that i hate my life.

instead, i will start enjoying the things i do like, changing those that i dont, and stop procrastinating.....

ok, well definitely the first two. i mean, it took me 13 days into the new year to post an entry about my desire to change.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

A brief, but meaningful conversation with Hunter...x2

(after losing to Hunter at Connect 4, Yahtzee Junior AND Bop it..)

Hunter: Girl, we have to talk.
Me: Ok Hunt, about what?
Hunter: Well, Girl, some days you are a winner. Some days you are a loser. Today, you are a LOSER.

Hunter: Tonight is almost a full moon
Me: What does that mean?
Hunter: It means when the moon becomes full the werewolves come out.
Me: Well, good thing we don't know any werewolves....
Hunter: but we do!
Me: who?
Hunter: YOU!
Me: I'm a werewolf?
Hunter: Yeah, and don't bite me, Girl.
Me: Well thanks for telling me, Hunt. I didn't know I was a werewolf.*
Hunter: Well Girl, someone had to do it. Might as well be me.

And there you have it, the gospel according to Hunter.

*And all this time i've just thought I was a bitch...