Monday, November 2, 2009

Harder than a rubix cube

I've been sitting here in front of this page for almost an hour, trying to come up with something to say. I have a million little thoughts going on in my mind right now, and I can't seem to find the right one to write about. I don't know what to say about anything.
I want to just freeze the world for a few hours, to give my mind time to catch up.
I'm 5000 words into my novel for NaNoWriMo. 45000 to go. Can I really do this? Can I really write a novel?
I'm having some difficulties with this one - I'm a very character driven writer. I know my characters, and tell their stories. This one came to me in reverse - I know the story I want to tell, but I'm still getting to know my characters. I know my background characters pretty well - it's my main characters who are still hiding from me.
Maybe I'm trying too hard.
Maybe, for the first time, since I know where the story is going I'm afraid. That I'll actually accomplish something. I'm finding myself in my usual paradox - I'm to afraid of failing to succeed. I know I can never fail if I don't try, but parts of me are so afraid of that failure that sometimes it doesn't seem worth it to try.


KT said...

Good luck with NaNoWriMo! I'm participating in NaBloPoMo and I'm starting to struggle with it.

Kudos to you, lady!

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