Monday, November 2, 2009

Harder than a rubix cube

I've been sitting here in front of this page for almost an hour, trying to come up with something to say. I have a million little thoughts going on in my mind right now, and I can't seem to find the right one to write about. I don't know what to say about anything.
I want to just freeze the world for a few hours, to give my mind time to catch up.
I'm 5000 words into my novel for NaNoWriMo. 45000 to go. Can I really do this? Can I really write a novel?
I'm having some difficulties with this one - I'm a very character driven writer. I know my characters, and tell their stories. This one came to me in reverse - I know the story I want to tell, but I'm still getting to know my characters. I know my background characters pretty well - it's my main characters who are still hiding from me.
Maybe I'm trying too hard.
Maybe, for the first time, since I know where the story is going I'm afraid. That I'll actually accomplish something. I'm finding myself in my usual paradox - I'm to afraid of failing to succeed. I know I can never fail if I don't try, but parts of me are so afraid of that failure that sometimes it doesn't seem worth it to try.

1 comments:

KT said...

Good luck with NaNoWriMo! I'm participating in NaBloPoMo and I'm starting to struggle with it.

Kudos to you, lady!

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