Friday, October 23, 2009

An impossible battle.

I don't really know whether I believe in fate or not, because I think free will plays a part, but lately I've come to believe that if you do have a particular fate, that no matter how hard you try to fight it, you will get there.*

I decided around the end of May that I was going to move away, to be closer to my friends.** Two weeks later, my little sister finds out she is pregnant.
Can't leave now, can i? So I grudgingly change my plans and decide I can't move away.
Around the end of June, I decide I want to go to graduate school. The program I want is at Towson, 3 hours away. If I get in, I'm going.
The end of July, they are still missing pieces of my paperwork. Nothing on my part, but my transcripts, my GRE scores, all that fun stuff. The woman in admissions tells me not to worry, I can start the semester up to a week into the semester and from what I tell her, she says I won't have a problem getting in.
The day the semester starts, the rest of my paperwork shows up, but that's what's known as the "dead period." They won't start looking at transcripts again until October. But I've already put in 2 weeks at my job, so I decide I will move anyway.
I've never had a problem finding a job before, I usually get the first job I interview for, so I don't anticipate a problem, despite my family's misgivings about me moving with out a job. There are plenty of jobs down there, my friend B got offered 3 jobs in a week. I'll be fine.
Except I'm not. I'm hardly getting interviews. And when I do, that's the last I hear. From multiple employers.
Come home for a weekend to visit, since my sister has a dr. appointment.

And I get offered 3 jobs without applying for a single one.
A family from my old preschool class wants me to come nanny for them.
While at the bookstore, I help a woman pick out some books for her classroom - she is opening a daycare and thinks I would be great from the preschool.
A manager at the bookstore overhears me helping this woman, and asks me if I would be interested in a job in the children's book department.

Sound like fate, much? I guess there is a reason I need to be in NJ for now, as much as it upsets me.

*I've been writing a novel that's narrated by fate, so I suppose that could also be why the topic is on my mind.
**It sounds stupid, but I don't have any friends at home. I don't talk to my high school friends and I despise pretty much everyone else that lives in my area. They're all going no where in life and refuse to see anything that doesn't happen within a 1 mile radius. I doubt most of them have ever heard of Barack Obama, and if they have, i would bet with almost 100% certainty that they don't know who they vice president is.


Lan said...

I'm glad you've decided to go for grad school! It's rough though! What are you going to study? I'm jealous of your ability to just magically get offered jobs. It's all good to move away or want to move away from your family, but it's nice to be close by especially when something big like your sister getting pregnant happens. I can understand being a little begrudging though, but maybe it won't be such a bad thing.

You know I went from "I have to get away from my family because they drive me nuts and I can only be with them for 5 minutes max" to "I'm homesick and need to be closer." I used to only be 3-4 hours away from my mom and sister, and I kind of took it for granted. Now that I'm living by myself and all my family is at least 10 hours away, I really miss them. So now, once I finish my Masters I'm planning to move closer to home.

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